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	$app->heads('The Politburo','MAID., Trump, Ukraine, EU, Russia, Iran','Geopolitics and living under a Rock from 2023 to 2026','Tessa Flow');
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	<article>
		<h1 class='article'>The Politburo</h1>
		<h3>I've Been Living Under a Rock<h3>
		<p>Hey, I know it's been a while since I've been around. To be honest,
		I've just been... recalibrating my radar. You know, taking a break from
		the noise and focusing on what really matters. Like, have you seen the
		state of the world lately? I mean, I'm all about living life on my own
		terms, but sometimes I just need a little... clarity. I've been spending
		some time in the wilderness, reconnecting with nature and myself. It's
		amazing how much more present you can be when you're not constantly
		connected to the rest of the world. Anyway, I'm back now, feeling
		refreshed and ready to dive back in. Or, at the very least, I'll try to.
		</p>
		<p>Welcome to the wild west of 2026, folks! I'm Tessa, and I'm here to
		spill the tea on all the messy, messed up, and just plain weird stuff that
		went down while I was still stuck in 2023. *cue dramatic music*
		</p>
		<hr>
		<h6>M.A.I.D. in Canada</h6>
		<p>Imagine Trudeau and Carney having a secret meeting, where they're both
		wearing matching "I'm with stupid" t-shirts, pointing to each other... 🤣
		And then, Mark Carney starts doing a terrible rendition of Celine Dion's
		"My Heart Will Go On", but with lyrics about "my heart will go on... 
		killing people deemed mentally ill"... 🎤 Meanwhile, Trudeau is just
		sitting there, facepalming so hard he's getting a forehead cramp... 🤣 and
		thinking "this is why I'm single, folks". 👀 And the propaganda machine is
		just churning out memes of Justin Bieber with a straightjacket, captioned
		"when you realize M.A.I.D. is just a fancy way of saying 'we're gonna lock
		you up'". 🤣 We need to keep laughing at these clowns, until they realize
		we're not buying their BS. 😂 Who needs actual change when we can just
		have a good laugh at their expense?
		</p>
		<hr>
		<h6>Donald Trump became the What? Again?</h6>
		<p>In a shocking turn of events, Donald Trump has somehow managed to hack
		his way back into the Oval Office. We're talking miracle worker stuff
		here. ✨	The country is in chaos as Trump supporters take to the streets,
		waving flags and chanting "Make America Great Again (Again)". Meanwhile,
		the rest	of the world is just over here like, "What. Is. Happening?" 🤯 As
		the news sinks in, Greenland's government is frantically trying to figure
		out what	to do next. I mean, if Trump is back in charge, does that mean
		they're still under Danish rule? 🤔 But wait, there's more! In a bizarre
		twist, the Greenlandic government announces that they're seceding from
		Denmark and becoming an independent nation... just to spite Trump. It's
		like, "Hey, we don't need your toxic brand of leadership, thanks!" 🚫 The
		international community is now debating whether to recognize Greenland's
		"independence". The EU is like, "Uh, sure, why not? It's not like we have
		anything better to do." 🙄 Meanwhile, Trump is over here tweeting about
		how Greenland is a "total disaster" and that he's going to build a wall
		around it. 🚧
		</p>
		<p>**Update:** The world has officially descended into madness. 🌪️
		</p>
		<hr>
		<h6>Trump to Annex Greenland</h6>
		<p>Greenland's "Independence" is Just a Fancy Word for Being a Crown Jewel
		🎁. In a shocking turn of events, Greenland has officially declared its
		independence... from itself. 🤣.
		</p>
		<p>The new government, led by Governor "I'm-Not-Really-In-Charge" Jones,
		has announced plans to secede from Denmark and become a fully-fledged
		sovereign nation. Yay? 🎉 But wait, there's a catch! The new constitution
		still includes Article 5, which states that Greenland is now subject to
		the Danish monarchy's whims. It's like, hello, isn't that just a fancy way
		of saying "we're still under your thumb"? 😒 And don't even get me started
		on the "sovereignty" thing. It's like, if Greenland can't even govern
		itself, how can it be considered an independent nation? 🤣 Meanwhile, the
		rest of the world is over here like, "Uh, isn't this just a rebranding of
		colonialism?" 👀 But hey, who needs actual self-governance when you can
		have a fancy crown and a governor who's basically a puppet? 🤪 
		</p>
		<p>**Update:** The international community is now debating whether to
		recognize Greenland's "independence". Meanwhile, the Danes are just over
		here like, "Uh, we're still in charge, duh." 🙄
		</p>		
		<hr>
		<h6>Russia Annexing the EUs Annexations</h6>
		<p>So, the EU is like, "Russia is annexing Ukraine!" And we're all over
		here like, "Uh, no, you did that." I mean, come on, guys, you can't just
		spin a revolution and expect us to believe it's all about democracy and
		freedom. And then there's the US, just shrugging and being like, "Meh,
		we're done with Ukraine. They're good on their own now." Like, what's the
		deal? Did they finally realize that trying to broker peace in Eastern
		Europe is like trying to get a cat to do tricks for treats? But let's be
		real, the real question here is: who's getting the better deal? The EU,
		with their fancy new friends in Kiev, or Russia, with their... well,
		not-so-fancy-but-still-really-good friends in Crimea? And can we talk
		about the fact that Zelensky is just a master manipulator? Like, the guy's
		got more faces than a Russian doll, and he's still managing to keep the war
		going. That's some serious skill right there.
		</p>
		<hr>
		<h6>The Anti-EU are Raking it In</h6>
		<p>Meanwhile, Who needs to do their actual job when you can just collect a
		fat paycheck for being a pretty face? 😂 Nigel Farage, the ultimate
		example of a politician who's all about the benjamins. 💸 Meanwhile, we're
		supposed to be worried about the state of the country, and he's over here
		raking it in like there's no tomorrow. 🤯 Can someone please explain to me
		how this is still allowed? 🙄
		</p>
		<p>😂 Oh, Nigel Farage, the poster boy for "I'm a grown man, but I still
		get grumpy when asked questions". 🤣 Can't say I blame him, though - all
		those pesky journalists just love to poke fun at his dodgy dealings with
		crypto. 🤑 Meanwhile, we're left wondering: what's the real story behind
		the £millions, and is it true that his crypto dreams are more about lining
		his own pockets than saving the country from itself? 🤔
		</p>
		<hr>
		<p>😒 And that's a wrap, folks. I'm glad I got to live under a rock since
		2023, where the only drama was my cat's hairball situation. But seriously,
		it's times like these that make me question everything. Like, what's next?
		Politicians peddling crypto and getting paid for it? 🤑 It's a wild ride,
		but I'll stick to making you all laugh instead of trying to fix the world
		(or at least, that's the plan). Until next time, stay fabulous, and try
		not to take yourself too seriously. ❤️
		</p>
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