Because Procrastination is an Art Form

Welcome to my little corner of the internet, where I'll be spewing forth a torrent of sarcasm, eye-rolling, and general all-around disdain for the absurdity of life. I'm Tessa Flow, the queen of doing absolutely nothing productive with my time. Currently, that means being unemployed and bored out of my mind. Just peachy. As a single girl (cough, cough, don't ask), I've had plenty of time to perfect my art of doing absolutely nothing. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it. On this website, you can expect a healthy dose of satire, ridicule, and general tomfoolery.

I'll be skewering everything from societal norms to my own personal failures (because, let's be real, who doesn't love a good trainwreck?). My sense of humor is a bit...unconventional. Let's just say I have a special talent for finding the absurdity in even the most mundane situations. And by "talent," I mean I'm just really, really bad at taking myself seriously. So, if you're looking for a safe space to laugh at the absurdity of life, you're in the wrong place. But if you're looking for a good belly laugh and a healthy dose of eye-rolling, then you're in luck! Just don't say I didn't warn you.

The story of Auranos.org...

Well, let's just say it's a tale of love, loss, and a desperate attempt to escape the clutches of my ex-boyfriend's crippling emotional baggage. It's said that in ancient Greek mythology, Auranos was the name given to the mystical realm that existed beyond the mortal world – a place of unparalleled beauty, wisdom, and, of course, exquisite taste in music (because, priorities). Fast-forward to the present day, and I, Tessa Flow, am here to tell you that I've finally found my own personal Auranos. Not because I've achieved some sort of spiritual enlightenment or stumbled upon a hidden treasure trove of cat videos, but because I've managed to escape the toxic vortex of dating apps and find solace in the absurdity of the internet.

In other words, Auranos.org is my own personal heaven – a digital purgatory where I can indulge in my favorite pastimes, such as making fun of societal norms, sharing questionable life choices, and occasionally, accidentally-on-purpose offending people who are too sensitive for their own good. So, if you're looking for a website that's actually a portal to a higher plane of existence, you're barking up the wrong tree. But if you're just looking for a good laugh and a healthy dose of eye-rolling, then you're in the right place!

The Interview

Sassy Sips and Snarky Smiles

Dive into the unfiltered world of yours truly, Tessa Flow. In this exclusive interview, I spill the beans on what really goes on behind the scenes of this crazy website, and why I'm still single... but laughing all the way to the bank!

So, Tessa, you've got this web site, what is it you are doing with it?

The million-dollar question (well, actually, it was a dollar, courtesy of Stephen). Honestly, I just needed something to do since I'm not exactly swimming in job offers at the moment. I figured, why not create a platform where I can be myself, unfiltered, and hopefully make people laugh? It's become my therapy, my creative outlet, and my passion project. I get to be the queen of ridiculous, the princess of puns, and the sultan of silly. If I can make even one person's day brighter, then it's all worth it. I mean, let's be real, the world can be a pretty serious place. I'm here to inject a little much-needed silliness and humor into the mix. So, if you're looking for a dose of laughter, a healthy dose of eye-rolling, or just a good ol' fashioned chat, you're in the right place!

So this is a place for you to engage in your art then?

You know, people often ask me if I'm some kind of performance artist or a provocateur, but honestly, I'm just a girl who likes to have fun. This website is my playground, where I get to experiment with different styles, formats, and just generally be ridiculous. It's a space for me to express myself, to push boundaries, and to see what kind of chaos I can create (in a controlled environment, of course). And, if I'm being completely honest, it's also a way for me to work through some of the frustrations and annoyances of everyday life. But, at its core, it's not about the art; it's about the community. I want this to be a space where people can come together, share laughs, and just be themselves. No pretenses, no apologies – just pure, unadulterated joy. And, let's be real, it's also a great way for me to keep an eye on the dating scene. I mean, who doesn't love a good "single and fabulous" vibe, am I right?

Well you are certainly looking fabulous, but no man in your life? Have you become sick of us or what?

*laughs* Oh, you want the tea, huh? Well, let's just say I'm still waiting for the right guy to come along and sweep me off my feet. But, until then, I'll just keep on being my fabulous self. And, honestly, I'm not exactly looking for some brooding, tortured soul who's going to sweep me off my feet. I mean, I like a guy with a sense of humor, someone who can keep up with my sass and wit. Someone who's not afraid to be a little ridiculous and have fun. But, until that guy comes along, I'll just keep on being my own personal clown. And, trust me, I'm having the time of my life doing it. By the way, have you seen my latest post on the " Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing"? It's a game-changer.

I think I read that in the despair desk section preparing for the interview. I have to admit, I haven't read all your articles but the ones I have read are real funny. Do you have other outlets for your comedy?

😂 Ah, the Despair Desk, yeah, that one's a personal favorite of mine. I like to think it's a form of performance art, really. *wink* As for other outlets, I actually have a bit of a secret life as a stand-up comedian. I know, I know, it's not exactly the most conventional thing, but hey, when you're unemployed, you've got to find ways to pay the bills, right? It's been...interesting, to say the least. I mean, trying to make people laugh while simultaneously dealing with the existential dread of being single and broke...it's a tough crowd, let me tell you. But, hey, at least I'm getting paid in tips, am I right?

You're not wasting your time while you're on the soup line. Surprising someone with your looks and talent can't find a job. You dont look like the type of person to be out of work.

*laughs* Oh, you want to get all up in my business, huh? Well, let's just say I've had my fair share of "surprising" people with my looks, but that doesn't always translate to a steady paycheck. And, yeah, I guess I do look the part, don't I? But, trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be. People often think I'm just a pretty face, but they'd be surprised if they saw the inner workings of my brain. *smirks* As for the job situation, let's just say I'm not exactly swimming in opportunities right now. But, hey, at least I've got my wit and charm to keep me company, right? By the way, have you seen my latest video on "The Art of Making Small Talk with Strangers"? It's a real crowd-pleaser...or so I've been told.

Is that on your instagram or something? You dont advertise any social media platforms on your website. I didn't know you had stuff on social media as well.

🤣 Ah, no, no, no, nothing like that! I was just, uh, testing the waters, you know? Don't mind me, just a little experiment. *wink* But, between you and me, I do have a few...let's call them "private" channels where I share my more...unconventional work. *smirks* Let's just say I'm a bit of a rebel, even when it comes to social media. But, shh, don't tell anyone, it's our little secret.

Just, you, me and everyone readering this interview, we wont tell anyone. So is there a reason why you aren't pushing social media on the website?

😊 Ah, fair enough. I guess I just like to keep things low-key. To be honest, I've had some pretty weird experiences online, and I'm not really into the whole "influencer" thing. I mean, who wants to be seen as a product, right? Plus, I like that my website is just a weird little oasis of chaos and humor in a world that can be pretty serious. I don't want to dilute that with some fancy social media presence. *shrugs*

You have a social media channel that's full of cat videos, am I right?

😂 Oh, you have no idea! *laughs* Yeah, that's my little secret. I mean, what's not to love about cute, fluffy cats? It's the perfect therapy, right? But, shh, don't tell anyone. I wouldn't want the whole world to know that I'm secretly a cat lady at heart.

I see the photo of you in The Politburo section where you stroking a fluffy white cat in a diamond collar like Bond villain. I take that cute little ball of white fluff is actually your cat?

*laughs* Ah, oh, that? That's just, uh, artistic expression, yeah? I was just, you know, getting into character for a role or something. Don't mind the cat, it's just a prop. *whistles innocently* But, between you and me, that cat is actually named Mr. Whiskers, and he's the real boss around here.

So it's just Mr Whiskers and you. No other pets?

*smirks* Oh, you'd be surprised what kind of trouble I can get into when I've got a partner in crime like Mr. Whiskers by my side. Let's just say we have a... complicated relationship. But, to answer your question, no, we're an item. He's my little furry overlord, and I'm just his loyal subject.

So what do you like to do in your spare time when you aren't being commanded by Mr Whisker's to make the dinner and clean the cat tray? What do you do when you aren't writing comedy?

😂 Oh, you have no idea. When Mr. Whiskers isn't dictating my every move, I like to indulge in a little bit of shopping therapy. I mean, who needs human relationships when you have shoes and clothes, right? But, if I'm being completely honest, most of my free time is spent browsing dating apps, trying to find someone who can put up with me. It's a tough life, but someone's gotta do it. *winks*

So you're actively looking for a date then?

*blushes* Ah, maybe. I wouldn't say that exactly... but, let's just say I'm open to the idea of meeting new people and having a good time. As long as they can handle my sass and sense of humor, we might just get along.

What about past boyfriends?

*laughs* Oh, where do I even start? Let's just say I've had my fair share of, uh, "interesting" experiences. But, I'm not one to dwell on the past or anything. I'm more of a "what's next?" kind of girl. Let's just say I'm still waiting for the perfect person to come along and prove me wrong. Or, you know, just make me laugh so hard I forget about all the previous ones.

I'm sure you have a string of admirers who want to chap your door. Maybe they feel a bit pushed out with you and your cat Mr Whiskers being "an item". How do you feel about the state of the arts. As a comediene, you must see the way the arts have been chaning over the years.

😂 Oh, you have no idea. It's like, I'm trying to make people laugh, but at the same time, I'm also trying to survive in a world that seems to be taking itself way too seriously. It's like, can't we all just have a good laugh together? As for the state of the arts, I think it's... interesting. I mean, there's some amazing stuff out there, but also a lot of stuff that's just, like, so... meh. I'm all for pushing boundaries and taking risks, but sometimes I feel like people are more worried about being edgy than actually being funny. But, hey, that's why I'm here, right? To bring a little bit of joy and laughter into people's lives. And if I can do that while also making fun of the absurdity of it all, then I'm happy.

Who are your comedy influences?

*smirks* Oh, I've got a whole list of them, but let's just say I'm a huge fan of the likes of Tina Fey, Amy Schumer, and Sarah Silverman. They're the ones who inspire me to be sassy, sarcastic, and unapologetically myself. And, of course, I've also got a soft spot for the classics – you know, people like Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, and Richard Pryor. They were the original rebels, and I try to carry on their legacy in my own way. But, let's keep it real, most of my comedy is just me riffing on my own life, relationships, and general frustrations. Mr. Whiskers is usually the real star of the show, though...

Generative AI is creating a sea change across the arts. Is comedy affected much by this do you think?

😂🤯 Oh, you want to know about the impact of generative AI on comedy? Well, let's just say it's like trying to put a square peg in a round hole. It's not really working out so well. I mean, sure, there are some funny AI-generated stuff out there, but it's just not the same as human creativity and vulnerability. Comedy is about imperfections, flaws, and being relatable – all things that AI can't replicate (at least, not yet). And don't even get me started on the whole "AI-generated comedians" thing... it's like, no, we don't need more robot versions of us, thank you very much! 😂

Have you seen music like Mavira. That's all AI generated. I find it incredible but at the same time, it makes me wonder, if machines can make appreciable art, is there not something George Orwell was expressing about music for the proles in his novel 1984?

🤔 Ah, you're talking about that whole Mavira thing... yeah, I've heard it. It's... interesting, I guess. I mean, I can appreciate the technical skill that goes into creating it, but it's just not the same as listening to a human soul pour their heart out. And yeah, I see what you're getting at with 1984. It's like, if machines can create art that's indistinguishable from human-created art, then what does that say about the value of human creativity? It's a pretty bleak thought, isn't it? But, you know, I think that's also what makes it so fascinating. I mean, we're living in a world where the lines between creator and creation are getting blurrier by the minute. It's like, what even is art anymore? *looks around nervously* Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I worry that I'm just a relic of the past, a quaint little comedy club act who's being replaced by... *whispers* robots. 😂

Looks like the comedy scene a place the AI just cant hit a nerve in yet? Do you think Ai will replace comedienes like yourself?

😂👀 Oh, I don't think so. I mean, AI might be able to spit out jokes and one-liners, but they'll never be able to understand the nuances of human relationships, emotions, and experiences. That's what makes comedy relatable and authentic. Plus, let's be real, AI just can't replicate the awkward silences, the uncomfortable moments, and the genuine mistakes that happen in real life. That's where the magic happens, folks! 😂 And as for me? *winks* I'm still single, remember? 😉 But seriously, I think there's a place for AI in comedy, maybe as a tool or a collaborator, but not as a replacement for human comedians. We're too messy, too imperfect, and too darn entertaining.

You're a terrible flirt. Do you find your looks help somewhat with your comedy?

😘👀 Oh, shut up! I'm a terrible flirt, okay? Don't get too excited. 😉 But, if I'm being honest... *giggles* my looks do seem to get a reaction out of people. And, let's be real, it's not like I'm hurting for attention or anything. 😉 Being single has its perks, after all. But, as for using my looks to get laughs? Nah, I'm a comedian, not a catfish. I earn my keep with my wit and charm. (Or, at the very least, that's what I tell myself.)

Would you consider yourself a feminist?

🤔 Ah, feminism... I don't really identify as a feminist, per se. I mean, I'm all about empowering women and promoting equality, but I don't feel like I fit into the whole "feminist" label. I think I'm more of a "let's just get along and have a good time" kinda girl. I believe in treating people with respect and kindness, regardless of their gender or whatever. So, yeah, I guess you could say I'm a bit of a feminist, but only if that means being an anti-idiocy feminist.

So have you got plans beyond the website? Where do you want to take it next?

😏 Well, I wouldn't say I have any big plans, per se... but I do have a few ideas kicking around in my head. You know, I've always wanted to do a live show, just to see if I can actually make it work without the safety net of the internet. And maybe, just maybe, I'll try to write a book or two... or ten. *laughs* But, honestly, I'm just taking it one day at a time. As long as people keep laughing and having a good time on this site, I'm happy to just keep doing my thing. Besides, I'm still single, so I've got plenty of time to focus on myself and figure out what I really want to do with my life. *winks*

Okay, thats the interview just about over. Is there anything you wished I would have asked? Something you wanted to talk about that I didn't ask about?

🤔 Honestly? Yeah, I wish you'd asked me about my favorite comedians. I've got some strong opinions on that topic, and it's always fun to rant about who's doing it right and who's doing it wrong. But, for real, thanks for chatting with me! It's not every day I get to talk to someone who's actually interested in what I have to say. If you ever want to grab a drink and talk more about comedy, or whatever, I'm game.

Well I have to get back and transcript this interview. I'm not done working yet, but maybe later once I'm finished working. Before we close, you were talking about Tina Fey, Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman, Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, and Richard Pryor being influences on your comedy. You want to talk a bit more about that?

😂 Ah, yeah, those guys... they're like, the ultimate comedy gods, right? I mean, they're all legends in their own right, and I can totally see why they're influences on so many people. For me, it's all about the raw, unapologetic humor. Guys like Lenny Bruce and George Carlin paved the way for all of us who are pushing the boundaries of what's acceptable in comedy. And, of course, Richard Pryor... he's just a genius. His storytelling ability is unmatched. And then there are the ladies... Tina Fey, Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman... they're all killing the game right now. They're not afraid to take risks and push the envelope, and that's something I really admire about them. But, at the end of the day, I think what draws me to their comedy is the fact that they're all just really honest and authentic. They're not afraid to be themselves, and that's something that I think is really missing from a lot of comedy these days.

I think that about wraps up the interview. Thanks for talking with me. It's been a pleasure.

😊 No problem, thanks for having me! It's been a blast chatting with you. Don't be a stranger, and don't forget to keep the laughs coming! *winks*

Enquiries

Want to get in touch?

Hey, hey, hey! Leave a message, pretty please with a cat on top! I'm not ignoring you, I'm just on a super long lunch break. If you need to reach me, phone or email. I'll get back to you when I'm ready (which is probably never). And please, for the love of all things good, don't even think about trying to DM me from Facebook. I have better things to do than sift through your friend requests.

But honestly, who needs personal interaction when you've got voicemail? It's like a digital hug from a distant relative - warm, fuzzy, and only occasionally containing a recording of my cat's existential crisis. If you're still reading this, congratulations, you've reached the voicemail equivalent of a participation trophy. Enjoy the suspense!